I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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