Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
