He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
