i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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