i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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