I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
