I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize