if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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