Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
