you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I want you more than these girls want KFC
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
