I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
