Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
