i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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