Just fell off a train. Bad.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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