He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
