I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You smell like stripper and shame
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize