Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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