oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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