just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
