i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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