So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
