It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
