i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
