It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
where are you?
Hypothermia
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize