do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
