I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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