My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Sorry my hands just texted you
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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