I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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