talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
