If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
