he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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