So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
