Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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