You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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