Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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