So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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