Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
