you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
