It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
