maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
