Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
