At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
