My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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