Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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