Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm just crazy horny about you
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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