How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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