i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
