i don't plan on having that self control this summer
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
