I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
