Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
