What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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