just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize