I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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