Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
