bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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