im drinking this country out of the recession.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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