i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
