make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize