Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
