i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
