oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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