i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
