can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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