1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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