So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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