he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
