he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
