): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
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