The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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