hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
